In a continued effort to spew its fake "Republican war-on-women” rhetoric, the Obama administration rolled out its latest piece of brilliance today--a cartoonish character named “Julia”, who began her dependence on the government at the early age of three. 

Poor girl, she didn’t stand a chance from the outset.

Before we're too hard on fake Julia, let's give fake Julia's fake mom some credit. Much, I'm sure, to the horror of her liberal friends, fake Julia's fake mom chose life, and for that, fake Julia is blessed beyond measure. Unfortuately for fake Julia, that's where the blessings end, and the life-long subservience to her government begins. 

Under President Obama: Julia is enrolled in a Head Start program to help get her ready for school. Because of steps President Obama has taken to improve programs like this one, Julia joins thousands of students across the country who will start kindergarten ready to learn and succeed.

When she enrolled her fake little darling in the Head Start progam, Julia's fake mom must not have done her homework. If she had, she'd have discovered that President Obama's own 2010 study showed that Head Start is largely ineffective, thus a total waste of taxpayer dollars to the tune of $7+ billion a year. In fact, according to David Muhlhausen over at The Foundry, fake Julia was actually harmed by her participation in Head Start. It turns out that "non-participating children are more prepared in math skills than those children who participate in Head Start." Without even knowing it, fake Julia's fake mom may have done her daughter a great disservice turning her over to the government so soon. Perhaps teaching her at home at such an early age would have been a better choice. After all, did fake Julia ever get the opportunity to just be a fake kid? I think not. 

Fast forward quite a few years (apparently fake Julia did make it through school under the watchful eye of her beloved government). 

Under President Obama: [at age 17] Julia takes the SAT and is on track to start her college applications. Her high school is part of the Race to the Top program, implemented by President Obama. Their new college- and career-ready standards mean Julia can take the classes she needs to do well.

I hope someone informed fake Julia that because President Obama's own party, five years ago, pushed for a student loan interest rate reduction to 3.4% as a temporary subsidy in order to make loans more affordable...that temporary rate is set to expire right about the time...OH...that President Obama warns their rates will double. Imagine who he's blaming? Let's hope fake Julia isn't part of the Occupy movement out demanding that American taxpayers foot the bill for their college loans.  Never fear, however, because 

Under President Obama: [at age 18] As she prepares for her first semester of college, Julia and her family qualify for President Obama's American Opportunity Tax Credit—worth up to $10,000 over four years. Julia is also one of millions of students who receive a Pell Grant to help put a college education within reach.

Fake Julia may not have realized, as she prepared for college and began to apply for government money, that college costs far more than the $10,000 she may or may not have qualified for under President Obama's American Opportunity Tax Credit program. At $2500 a year max, she would have had to get a *gasp*  j-o-b to pay for the remaining tens of thousands it would cost her, depending on where she chose to continue her education. 

Unfortunately for fake Julia, illness struck while she was in college. Lucky for her, President Obama saved the day. Not only did she have coverage under her fake mother's plan while in college, but after college, she was able to move back home and live off of fake mom--Heaven help her--until the ripe old age of 26. 

Under President Obama: During college, [at age 22] Julia undergoes surgery. It is thankfully covered by her insurance due to a provision in health care reform that lets her stay on her parents' coverage until she turns 26.

The sad thing is that

Under President Obama: [at age 23] Because of steps like the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, Julia is one of millions of women across the country who knows she'll always be able to stand up for her right to equal pay. She starts her career as a web designer.

Instead of learning that hard work, rather than 'equal pay because I'm a woman,' will enable her to succeed in life...fake Julia starts her career believing she should have special treatment simply because of her gender. Nevermind all the men that have worked just as hard as she has to make it as a web designer in this highly competitive field. 

Under President Obama: After graduation [at age 25], Julia's federal student loans are more manageable since President Obama capped income-based federal student loan payments and kept interest rates low. She makes her payments on time every month, keeping her on track to repay her student loans.

Unfortunately for fake Julia, President Obama and his party had no intention of keeping her interest rates low after the election was over. What she didn't realize until far too late is that she was being lied to. 

Under President Obama: [at age 27] For the past four years, Julia has worked full-time as a web designer. Thanks to Obamacare, her health insurance is required to cover birth control and preventive care, letting Julia focus on her work rather than worry about her health.

Apparently fake Julia's job as a web designer isn't the only thing she's been busy doing the last four years. Her need for birth control is indicative of the fact that perhaps her friendship with a woman named Sandra Fluke has kept her too busy to get that second job she needed to pay off those college loans. Apparently, however, 

Under President Obama: [at age 31] Julia decides to have a child. Throughout her pregnancy, she benefits from maternal checkups, prenatal care, and free screenings under health care reform.

Fake Julia, because of her decision to have a child out of wedlock, gave birth to a fake son named Zachary...thus continuing the cycle of government dependence. Rather than opting for school choice, a program that would've given fake Julia the freedom to choose the right school for fake little Zachary, fake Julia chose the same path her mother chose...

Under President Obama: [at age 37] Julia's son Zachary starts kindergarten. The public schools in their neighborhood have better facilities and great teachers because of President Obama's investments in education and programs like Race to the Top.

Regardless of what fake Julia may think, it was her own hard work and determination that would allow her to start her own successful web business.

Under President Obama: [at age 42]  Julia starts her own web business. She qualifies for a Small Business Administration loan, giving her the money she needs to invest in her business. President Obama's tax cuts for small businesses like Julia's help her to get started. She's able to hire employees, creating new jobs in her town and helping to grow the local economy.

Unfortunately for fake Julia, however, the "tax cuts" she thought she would get under President Obama have made life far more difficult for her than she ever imagined. She is eventually forced to file for bankruptcy and...apparently...lives through 17 years of unemployment.  

Under President Obama: [at 65] Julia enrolls in Medicare, helping her to afford preventive care and the prescription drugs she needs.

Too bad for fake Julia, Medicare went bankrupt years earlier, leaving her with nothing. At age 67, 

Under President Obama: Julia retires. After years of contributing to Social Security, she receives monthly benefits that help her retire comfortably, without worrying that she'll run out of savings. This allows her to volunteer at a community garden.

What's incredibly sad for fake Julia is the fact that she has worked for most of her life paying into a system, the fruits of which she will never be able to enjoy. As David Harsanyi over at Human Events so eloquently put it,"if you think Social Security benefits allow you to live your retirement without worry, you deserve Barack Obama." I'm not sure we've ever seen such an absurd, glaring example of statism in the history of American politics. 

Republican war-on-women? I think not...it seems to me that President Barack Obama is, instead, trying to make women a slave to the almighty government plantation.  

What say you?